As my involvement in the Faith movement became more and more whole-hearted, relations with family and old friends deteriorated. I believed this was at least partly due to the fact that they were resisting the Spirit of God. I had to go through this suffering because I was following Christ. A lot of people from the Bible school were going through similar things. At the school we were told that Satan will use those that are closest to us, in order to try to stop us from following the call of God and finishing school in order to be able to go out to serve Him.
When my sister came back after a three-month stay abroad, she was shocked to see the way I had changed. With tears in her eyes, she tried to tell me that she was worried that something bad was happening to me. Instantly, I felt I knew what was going on. It was the devil who was trying to get me to quit being involved in the move of God. This was what they had been preparing me for at the Bible school time and time again. I resisted the devil by refusing to let my sister’s words or tears affect me. After this incident I tried to have as little to do with my family as possible.
If I had taken my sister’s reaction seriously, I would have been compelled to question my whole involvement in the Faith movement. But I was not emotionally capable of doing this at that time. I chose to believe what my friends in the movement said instead, and there, several people said that they had noticed a positive change in me. This was probably right, from their point of view, as I began to be more and more confident in the movement, and more outwardly active.
I really did care about my despairing parents, and family. Nevertheless, I reasoned that I needed to turn my back on them in order to follow Jesus. It was more important for me to follow Jesus by completing my Bible school studies and giving myself fully to the revival than it was to be pleasing my family.
There was an invisible wall between me and the rest of the family. We were able to talk about everyday things, but I was afraid to let them get close to me. Whenever they as much as hinted at anything negative about the Faith-movement, I regarded it as an attack of the devil. I learned to resist these attacks so that they did not affect me mentally and emotionally.
People encounter similar things when some member of a family joins a cult. Of course, a strained relationship with parents and brothers and sisters does not necessarily mean that one has joined a cult. When someone is genuinely converted and gets involved in a Christian church, it can also lead to strained family relationships because the rest of the family may not understand the new attitudes and experiences of the newly converted person.
I felt very sad about the poor relationship with my family, but I saw no alternative. I had to go ahead of them spiritually and was hoping that they would follow eventually. One of my most fervent prayers was that they would become Christians and, hopefully, also join the present move of God.
Eventually, after my time at Bible school, I moved back to the town where I first started my studies in order to help in a faith church that was starting up there. I took a casual job in a hospital in order to support myself, and was convinced that I was working for Jesus. I involved myself totally — and with joyful enthusiasm — in order to be a part of God’s plan in this great revival.
Optimism regarding the future overshadowed other things that were wearying, and the group I was a part of became knit together in a great fellowship of love. They saw my new fire and confidence, and regarded it as something positive.
However, at the same time, there were friends outside the group who became more hesitant because of the change in me. It became something of a chore for me to be with them — and this was the case regardless of whether they were Christians or not. I avoided contact, except with those who were receptive to my message. Though some of my friends still wanted to relate to me in spite of being unhappy about the change in me, I found it mentally demanding to be with them. So I avoided them as much as I could without being rude.
I was surprised myself at this development. I reasoned that it must be because I had entered new spiritual dimensions and was more sensitive in my spirit. I thought the Spirit of God was leading me to avoid the friends from outside our group, because it seemed as if they were draining the power and anointing out of me. Going ahead with God meant leaving others behind, or even breaking off connection with them so they could not become a hindrance. The choice was between God or my friends, and I chose God. This was how I regarded it at that time.
